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Jesse James

Once upon a time, many years ago when we all lived in little villages you had fame if you were a blacksmith, a singer or the storyteller.  You had a defined role and if you did it well you received accolades and everyone in your village knew who you were.  Most people had barely been to the next town so the concept of spreading your ideas far and wide didn’t even cross people’s mind.

Then came modern transportation and media.  Suddenly, you could reach everybody and there was worldwide fame.

Speaking of fame.  After reading a press release on the Discovery Channel…I just threw up in my mouth a little bit!

Yeah, it’s a line from “Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story” but seemed appropriate from my perspective.

In case you’ve been living in a tent at Occupy Portland… it would seem that Jessie James has flamed out with his squeeze, Kat Von D and when he looked at the man in the mirror, became tired of the same old you.  He will recycle in the industry to the Discovery Channel for what’s being hailed as an E-P-I-C showdown where he will go head-to-head with Paul Teutul Sr. and Junior on “American Chopper Live.”

Selling out and letting co-writers/producers deliver what the lowest common denominator TV system wants, as opposed to what you want, will clearly revive the custom chopper business!

Can’t they leave well enough alone and just move on already?  Maybe they should rename it the “American Horror Story: Tricks and Treats From Formerly Warm Bodies!”  Since 2003 Jessie began a slow-and-steady nosedive with his character arcing to new lows that only a Hollywood script for “Desperate Housewives” could love.  Combine this with the other two demoralizing builders who get their ‘hate-on’ and we now have what they call that new math: 1+2 = 4!

Our shiny enigmatic motorcycle monster friend will turn up not once, but twice on December 5th and 6th.    It’s sure to create a mega motorcycle buzz – YAWN!

Next up has to be a Jessie James guest appearance on Glee or maybe it’s DWTS.  You heard it here first.

Photo courtesy of Discovery Channel

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In one of my favorite Dave Matthews songs “Too Much,” the lyrics in the chorus go something like: “I eat too much.  I drink too much.  I want too much.  Too much.”

We’ve all been there.  It’s late.  You’ve ridden all day, the sun is about to set and you’re tired and hungry.  And I’m like many of you, the convenience and hunger sometimes send even the most health conscious rider to the closest fast food restaurant.  There they are…singles, doubles and triples if you so dare.  High-fat foods displayed on the buzzing neon menu and despite best intentions, a double cheese burger and curly fries end up on your plate.  All of it to be washed down with a caffeine laced soda and a chocolate milk-shake.

The effects (metabolic) of a fat load (a lot of fat eaten in a short period of time) have extensively been studied by researchers interested in health.  It turns out that even a 50-gram load of fat (most fast food restaurants can easily surpass that threshold), constricts the arteries — effectively reducing the blood flow to the heart and muscles.  The slowed delivery of oxygen and nutrients starves the heart muscle along with all working muscles and the result is you’ll feel fatigued.  Like the Willamette River after a hard rain storm filling up with silt, eventually the fat is cleared from the bloodstream, but it will keep you feeling sluggish.

Then it’s the next morning and time for some hot Java.

About 70% of the U.S. population “uses” coffee.  I’m part of that percentage.  Most typically it’s consumed to improve alertness and ‘get going’ in the morning.  Coffee’s benefits for performance athletes have been proven.  The research has shown that as little as 1.4 to 2.7 milligrams (approx an 8-to 16 ounce cup) is enough to make a significant improvement in performance.  So it would be logical to assume that it would also  improve a riders performance too?  Assuming that during the previous night you didn’t drink large amounts of alcohol.

And speaking of alcohol… Many motorcyclists enjoy relaxing with their favorite brew after a long days ride.  Anything more than the equivalent of about 2 drinks will only add to the energy zapper list.  Unless your alcohol intake is moderate (defined as two 5-ounce glasses of wine or two 12-ounce beers)  there is risk of fatigue.  And as you pull out of the motel parking lot for an early morning departure, glycogen is the most important fuel for your contracting muscles.  And to keep the supply of glucose steady the liver kicks in and starts to release glucose into the bloodstream for those muscles.  It will quickly deplete its supply of glycogen and without additional carbohydrates, the glycogen supplies are exhausted…and being met with a replacement of calories from alcohol and since alcohol can’t be converted and stored as glycogen…early muscle fatigue occurs along with an overall  lack of energy and the end result could be a drop in rider performance.  Additionally, the alcohol causes dehydration and can affect fine motor coordination.

Adding insult to injury is that caffeine laced soda you had the night before and/or the alcohol can cause interrupted sleep cycles.  The hormone Grehlin was discovered in 1999.  Termed the “orexogenic” hormone, Grehlin production is increased in response to sleep deprivation.  It turns out the body knows it needs more calories to be awake and functioning.  And when Grehlin levels go up so does your appetite.  The message is clear: less sleep leads to more food and calories.

I’m not a nutrition nut, performance athlete or a dietitian.  No, I’m not telling you how or what to eat.  Yes, I’ve been on trips where members of the posse have consumed nothing but Slim Jims and coffee.  However, it’s clear there are fatigue-promoting “foods” and  motorcyclists who minimize the big three nutrition mistakes (too much caffeine, alcohol and high-fat foods) when riding may improve alertness levels.

Photo courtesy of Matt Marino and Moto Basturds

All Rights Reserved © Northwest Harley Blog

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Hollywood (circa:1921)

In Hollywood, morals clauses began cropping up starting in 1921, when silent-film star Roscoe “Fatty” Arbuckle was accused of raping and accidentally killing a young actress at a wild party in San Francisco.  A series of scandals led to popular outrage and calls for censorship.

A morals clause allows a buyer to bail on a contract if a star’s conduct is detrimental to the buyers interest.

In the late 1940s, morals clauses provided a convenient out for studios looking to get rid of suspected communists in Hollywood.  For example Ring Lardner Jr. was among the “Hollywood 10” who were notified that their studio deals were being dumped under the morals clauses.  These days there are other forces that push on top stars as an actor who has a ‘history’ can be much riskier to employ because bond companies generally don’t want to insure a motion picture or TV show that depends on such a person.

And speaking of morals, communists and conduct being “detrimental to a buyers interests” we have TV personality of defunct West Coast Chopper fame and Austin Speed Shop owner, Jesse James –  a heartwarming story of a man who dresses up in Nazi garb (a joke he states), cheats — repeatedly — on his universally beloved wife with a tattooed stripper, the Amish-raised Michelle “Bombshell” McGee, but turns it all around and gets engaged to yet another tattoo enthusiast, Kat Von D (a.k.a. Miami Ink).

So in a world where words speak volumes, Gallery Books, a Simon & Schuster imprint determined that a Jesse James memoir is what you’ve been waiting for and is going to hit bookshelves later this year.  James who writing experience is limited to, uh, well, nothing I can think of will write the tell-all book for those fans that want to know all the details about re-hab, his infidelities and how he found true love.  The memoir is called “American Outlaw” not to be confused with the movie of a similar title, but it looks like bad is good again!

And speaking of tattoo chronicles… Kat Von D has her own illustrated diary that offers up an intimate look at her life and art.

Photos courtesy of Kat Von D, and Ralph Barton/Vanity Fair (circa 1921).

All Rights Reserved © Northwest Harley Blog

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Maybe a more appropriate headline is “The Biggest Loser: Jesse James?”

West Coast Choppers CEO, Jesse G. James alleged infidelities surfaced this week.  It took the news cycle off Health Care for about 5 minutes.  But, could Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), “a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, need for admiration, and a lack of empathy” have played a part?   I have no factual information suggesting James has NPD, but the symptoms seemed relevant.

Here’s the 411.  A tattoo model by the name of Michelle “Bombshell” McGee (I don’t make this up!) has told In Touch magazine that she had an eleven-month affair with Sandra Bullock’s husband (i.e. Jesse James), while the actress was filming The Blind Side in 2009.  In the interview Ms. McGee stated that she was told that James and Bullock were no longer together:

“I would never have hooked up with him if I thought he was a married man. He gave me the impression they were separated.”

Quick to see the “Tiger Effect”, Mr. James issued an apology earlier today to his wife and three children, taking full responsibility for the lapse in judgment:

“The vast majority of the allegations reported are untrue and unfounded. Beyond that, I will not dignify these private matters with any further public comment.  “There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me. It’s because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way.  “This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me.”

Reports out of L.A. suggest, “Miss Congeniality” has left the couple’s SoCal home and canceled her appearance at the U.K. premiere of The Blind Side.  Who would blame her?  For Jesse’s part, the shame caused him to abruptly shut down his official Twitter account and cancel a previously arranged meeting with custom builder Cyril Huze.

Unfortunately all this breaks at a time when James is in a bitter battle with his ex-wife and porn star Janine Lindemulder over the custody of their daughter.  Sure this post borders on entertainment gossip, but Jesse James is a bell weather celeb in the custom motorcycle industry.  Ignoring it would be irresponsible.  Let’s hope for the best.

UPDATE: 02 April 2010 — It’s being reported that Mr. James has checked himself into Sierra Tucson in Tucson, AZ.  It’s a “re-hab” center which is all the rage these days among celebrities for seeking treatment from sex addictions to alcohol abuse.  It’s hard to not be cynical when they blame what often  looks like phony addictions to escape the media spotlight.  I wish him a speedy recovery.

Photo courtesy of In Touch Magazine.

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How’s that for drama in a headline?  I’m recycling the news a bit, but in case you didn’t hear bad-boy Jesse James and wife Sandra Bullock were being chauffeured in a SUV rent-a-car on Friday night and were hit by Lucille Gatchell in Gloucester, Massachusetts.  It seems the 64 year old Lucille “blew” a 0.20 percent blood-alcohol level which is double the legal limit.  Both automobiles were totaled, but no one was hurt.

Bullock is in Massachusetts filming The Proposal.  They were in Cape Ann/ Rockport, an area north of Boston’s North Shore and en route to their hotel in Eastern Point.  The movie is about a demanding female boss who suddenly faces deportation to Canada. She makes a deal with her young male assistant to agree to a sham engagement and marriage.

Jesse must be wondering WTF?   First he marries a famous movie star and almost a year ago to the day this crazy lady Marcia Valentine who is obsessed about Bullock tried to run him down in the driveway outside his home in Southern California while one of his 3 kids watched and now there is this drunk driving incident.

Dude you’ve got to be thinking that “carrying Sandra’s purse” is getting rather dicey…on living?!  Sure his ex was Janine Lindemulder (link not safe for work) and he’s now hooked up with a “legit” movie star, but the West Coast Chopper mogul has got to be mindful of current events…

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santa_badIt’s that time of year and I find myself mumbling songs like “Here comes Santa Clause, here comes Santa Clause……rumbling down the lane”. 

Or that other holiday tradition… “He knows if you’ve been bad or good…” so be naughty and saran-wrapped for goodness sake!

Something like that I think.  Being bad for badness sake?!

I’m having serious riding withdrawals.  The conditions have been wet, cold during the day (40’s) and lots of debris from gravel to tree branches on the roads.

At this point I welcome the snow because it would be a sign that winter is here and that spring can’t be too far in the future!  So, I’ve had to resort to watching YouTube videos of biker events and finding eclectic information for the posse.

First off for your pleasure is this Harley Davidson bad-to-the-bone Santa video.  Throwing that “fresh” meat covered bone to the dog is classic!

naughty_listAnd then there’s this: Jesse James, a distant relative of the outlaw from the 1880s and of West Coast Chopper fame  recently opened a healthy food diner called Cisco Burger, named for his one-toothed pit bull, whose portraits adorn the walls of the restaurant. The Burger joint is inside the James’ “compound” of metalworker’s dreams.

Lastly is an exerpt from the Hell Ride wiki: Hell Ride is a feature film from Larry Bishop being released under the “Quentin Tarantino Presents” banner.

jessie_cisco_burgerThe film promises to be a blood and sex-soaked tale of motorcycle revenge and retribution. Sounds like Pulp Fiction meets Wild Hogs and with the bike riding legend Dennis Hopper (as Eddie “Scratch” Zero) to star as members of the satanic biker gang the 666ersit should be a good one.

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